Yvonneverse: Motherhood

7 Lessons From Motherhood

By Yvonne Waluvengo - January 23, 2017

Today, exactly seven months ago, I was given one of life's greatest blessings. I became a mother and welcomed the most beautiful baby girl in my life.

I often look at my daughter and the thought that comes to mind is, "wow, I'm her mom!" It's almost like an out of body experience for me to really grasp the fact that I brought someone else into the world.

Day by day, I go through the journey of motherhood doing the best I can, though truth be told, most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, it's all trial and error, a learning process.

Sometimes I wish there was a manual or "how to" book handed to mothers before leaving the hospital with their newborns, that way I'd have a clue of what to expect, I'd have plenty of concepts on how to handle all the unknowns... Motherhood would be a breeze!

Challenging as motherhood is, I wouldn't trade it for the world. By becoming a mother I found a purpose to live (story for another day) and a reason to strive to be the absolute best person I can be.

In honor of being a first time mom and my little princess hitting her 7 month milestone, I'm sharing what being a mother has taught me.

1. Motherhood is a blessing

I think I mentioned before that feeling your child moving while you are pregnant is one of the best feelings a woman can ever experience, it's quite surreal.

Witnessing the miracle of life as I gave birth to my baby is something that makes me realize how blessed I am, some women are not as fortunate as I am, therefore I do not take it for granted that I am a mother, I am surely highly favored and for that I am thankful.

2. My baby is a blessing

Regardless of the trials I face raising my baby and sometimes the heartaches of worrying about problems she may encounter as she grows older, I constantly remind myself that she is a blessing, she is meant to be here, she has a purpose and because God trusted me with the job of being her mom I will not fail.

Things will get easier, I hope and pray. I am grateful for Zain and I love her so much, to the moon and back.

3. It's important to be present

These past seven months have zoomed by so fast and it has made me realize the importance of savoring every precious moment, I'm so happy that I've witnessed all my daughter's firsts, her first day on earth, her first smile, her first laugh, her first word and most recently, her first crawl!!! Whoop! Whoop! Go Zain!

It feels like it was yesterday I was holding Zain for the very first time and now she's crawling and eating solids and has mastered techniques that help her get her way haha!

I'm learning to have a grateful heart everyday and enjoying the little things.

4. The joy is in the journey

I've never done anything so hard and yet so gratifying as being a mom. I'm honestly so proud of the person I have changed into since becoming a mother.

I'm certainly enjoying this journey. I am proud of the person it's changing me into.

5. It’s about progress, not perfection

I was pretty hung up on perfection in my early months as a mother, I was too hard on myself, I made the mistake of comparing myself with other mothers too, but I am at a better place now because I recognize when I've made improvements as a mother... Come to think of it, motherhood is just one big unfinished project free of deadlines or specific end goals. No one should ever be hard on themselves or think they are a bad mother.

I'll make mistakes on top of the ones I've made previously, but the important thing is to forgive myself and focus on being a better mother and parent.

6. The true meaning of unconditional love

Nothing prepared me to love my baby as much as I do.

Now that Zain is in the picture, it's not all about me anymore. As much as I need to take care of myself and nurture the me inside the mom, being a mom is about putting my child first.

I love my baby dearly and making sacrifices for her is totally worth it, heck! I don't mind losing myself in the process of being a mother to Zain.

7. God is with us

This is by far the most important lesson I have learned. God is always with us, He never leaves our side.

I didn't think I could make it this far with my baby, I had a difficult transition into motherhood, I was mostly stressed during my pregnancy and silently suffered postpartum depression.

I have been through hell and back, I could write a novel if I decide to... Anyway, I'm grateful to God for everything. The challenges I've faced and continue to face have brought a whole lot of good in my relationship with Him.

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As always, thanks for reading!

If you're a mama, what is the greatest lesson you've learned from motherhood? Do share!

Sending love and positive energy your way. Enjoy the rest of your week!

Below are a few nice shots of Zain and I that we took last month at our family photo shoot... She has grown so big! It's unbelievable looking at these pictures :-)

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Motherhood

My Childbirth Story {Part Two}

By Yvonne Waluvengo - December 08, 2016

Giving birth to my baby is a monument of joy within my memory.

Incase you missed it, be sure to check out part one of "My Childbirth Story" :)

(I took this picture of Zain, 2 hours after she was born)

They say if you walk around and your contractions go away, it's just Braxton Hicks. At 5 p.m. I mentioned to my cousin that I was going out for a quick evening walk.

As I walked around my neighborhood, the contractions didn't go away, they became more distinct, they felt like period cramps that would subside, but unlike period cramps they were not unpleasant, only slightly uncomfortable to have, I was certainly not in much pain.

I had no worries, I even went to a local food joint and bought myself samosas, which were a favorite too while I was pregnant and the last thing I ate before giving birth.

To kill time and keep my mind off the increasing pressure I felt every now and again on my pelvis, I popped into a cyber to surf the internet for a little while. Looking back now I find I was very much at ease as my early labor progressed.

At around 7.30 p.m. I got back home, watched some more TV till 9 p.m. I had no appetite, so I didn't take supper while my family took theirs. We all went to sleep at around 10pm.

I couldn't sleep, my baby was too active that night. Instead of laying in bed with my eyes wide open I opted to go back to the living room. I checked out my favorite blogs via mobile and read a few articles on labor.

I ended up sleeping on the sofa for a good 2 hours before waking up again at around 1 a.m. on 23rd June, feeling a bit off-color. I stayed calm and timed my contractions to see if they had a pattern, they were 30 to 35 minutes apart. I was experiencing very strong contractions at the time, but definitely manageable. I paced about the living room, belly danced, yes, belly dancing helps to reduce labor pain. I should probably have informed my mom about my contractions, but I didn't want us to go too early to the hospital and be told I was not in active labor.

Another thing, well, fortunately or unfortunately I was reading a site that made me think I was hours away from giving birth, very misleading, but it helped me persevere the labor pain, thinking the show had just began.

My goal was to labor and give birth naturally without medical intervention.

As my contractions got stronger and closer, 11 to 15 minutes apart, I felt nauseous and puked like twice, then came a crazy urge to pee. At about 5.30 pm I went to pee for like the fourth time, all of a sudden I looked down and noticed my mucus plug come out... Gross! Haha! I know! I know! It was a ton of mucus with tinged blood streaks.

I get out of the bathroom and find my cousin has just woke up, she asks me how I'm feeling and if my water has broke. My water hadn't broke, but my contractions were really strong then, walking was a problem, she quickly goes and wakes my mom up, my mom comes hurriedly and I can see that she's in panic mode.

Mom asks me how I feel, I tell her in detail how exactly I feel, then she's like the baby is here and her saying that sends me into panic mode, I'm literally a mixed bag of nerves now. I ask her if I should change out of my pajamas before we go to the hospital, both her and my cousin tell me to go as I am and not worry about how I look.

My mom and I dash out the door to the car, she must have woken up my brother already because I find him in the car ready to drive us to hospital. I am in so much pain, I absent mindedly ask my mom if she has any painkillers.

I start crying, my mom tells me not to cry, she tells me what I'm experiencing is moderate pain compared to the pain experienced while giving birth (big lie!)... In my mind I go like, WTF?!... But what she says definitely stops me from crying.

I clench my teeth and keep my mind blank. I breath deeply, in a meditative sort of way, it surprisingly "numbs" the pain from the strong, painful contractions and the baby pushing hard on my pelvis.

My brother drives as fast as he can, it's like 5.50 a.m., there aren't too many cars on the road. I'd die if there was traffic and I were in that state! Lol!

We arrive at the hospital, my mom quickly gets out of the car to check me in, the pain is too much for me to bare, I can't even get out of the car. My brother tells me to wait till mom comes back.

I remember crying out to God, like, "God help me! God help me!" For like a minute I was free from pain, that's the good thing about contractions you know, when they stop, you experience zero pain. I get out of the car and head straight to labor and delivery. I get in and I'm directed to the delivery room.

I notice my water has broke and quite embarrassing... I've pooped on myself!

I've pooped on myself! Aaaaaaah!

It wasn't much, but still!!!

I tell the midwife on duty I "think" I've pooped on myself

She tells me not to worry, because it's absolutely normal.

She then directs me to one of two beds in the delivery room, tells me to get on it and open my legs wide... In my mind I'm like, the f#@$! But I play nice and follow her instructions to the latter, besides, it's a public hospital, the worst thing you can do is upset a nurse at a public hospital. I silently pray that the stories I heard about pregnant women getting slapped while giving birth at public hospitals isn't true haha!

The midwife examines me without sticking her hand up my you-know-what and says I'm fully dilated, I'd hit 10 cm and my cervix was effaced. She tells me to get ready to push.

I couldn't believe it.

Laying there I was so scared, I won't lie, I've never been that scared in my life.

Everything that happened next was surreal, I was pain free while pushing, but I remember screaming my lungs out when I pushed for the first time, then saying I couldn't do it. I think the midwife told me something along the lines... "Wewe wacha mchezo, hebu push!"

I held my breath and pushed again for the second time, my mother was beside me all the while, holding me down and encouraging me to push as hard as I can. The third time I pushed the midwife said she could see the baby's head so I should give her one more strong push, I pushed with all my might and out came my precious baby!!!

Zain was born at 6:19 a.m. on June 23rd 2016 weighing 2.9 kilograms.

Giving birth was the craziest feeling I've ever felt, it was unbelievable what my body was capable of, I was in shock, I couldn't process what had just happened, I was amazed when I set my eyes on my baby, the tiniest form of a human I had ever seen, she came out with a loud cry, a helpless little creature.

The midwife placed her on my chest for skin to skin effect for a few seconds. I held her close with my shaky hands. I was honestly going through the motions, what had happened had not sinked in. She then cut the umbilical cord and took my baby, mentioning "it's a girl" as she went to clean her.

I knew it was a girl from the ultrasounds I took, but now I was certain.

Ever since I was a little girl I wished for my firstborn to be a girl, my wish came true.

I had a second degree tear, which is bound to happen when you push a watermelon out of a lemon hole! Ha!... I got stitched down there, yeah, getting stitched is what you don't see in movies. It was painful, but I bared it all and it was over in no time.

As you recall, we came rushing to the hospital, so I forgot my hospital bag, it had all my and my newborn's necessities, clothes, diapers, wet wipes... etc. My mom's leso really came in handy, she swaddled my newborn with it and held her for me as I went to take a shower.

I took my shower, feeling so weak, but in mind all I wanted was to once again hold the incredible miracle that just came out of me.

I headed to the recovery room all clean where they handed my newborn back to me, my mom left to go bring my hospital bag and FOOD! I was starving, I couldn't wait to stuff my face.

It was just the two of us, I started taking in what had just happen, the moment I'd been waited for had finally arrived. Holding her in my arms I felt like I was a new person. I was so happy to finally meet Zain.

I tried to stay active throughout my pregnancy so I could have an easy childbirth, but I'd never thought of myself as the type of person who would manage to labor and give birth naturally, I was surprised and so proud of the strength I didn't know I possessed.

I checked out of the hospital the same day at 2.30pm.

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Zain is now 5 months old, thriving and healthy. I'm still adjusting to motherhood, it's not easy, but it's such an incredible experience. Watching Zain grow and getting to be with her 24/7 is so very special. She's mine and I am hers, there's no better feeling in the world. She completes me.

I'm so lucky to have the most perfect, beautiful and wonderful daughter. I love her so much.

Let me take this opportunity to say a big thank you to my midwife who did a terrific job, my mom, God bless her soul. My family and friends, I'm forever grateful for your support and prayers.

Thanks a lot for reading! If you are a mother, please share your childbirth story on the comment section, in a nutshell at least.

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Motherhood

My Childbirth Story {Part One}

By Yvonne Waluvengo - December 04, 2016

When it comes to telling childbirth stories, every woman’s story is different and unique.

I had second thoughts about sharing mine because I imagined it wouldn’t appeal to majority of my readers, who I often consider when putting together a post, but then again I figured that someone who’s part of my audience or has just stumbled upon my blog might enjoy it, relate to it… Also, writing it online would be a good way to preserve it for Zain as the years go by.

I don’t do super long posts, so please stay tuned for part two.

I’ll keep it real and raw.

22^nd June was my due date while I was pregnant. Being a first time mother, I took it upon myself to read widely on pregnancy, labor and birth, from the knowledge I gained I knew that there was a high possibility I would go over my due date and probably give birth at a later date. Only 3-5% of babies arrive on their due date.

I inwardly hoped my baby would arrive sooner rather than later. I remember being quite disappointed when I hit my 38th week and 39th week pregnancy milestones realizing I hadn’t gone into labor yet, aside from desperately wanting to meet my little angel, I was done being pregnant, done n’ done! I couldn’t pregnant anymore haha!

At around 2 a.m. on the morning of June 22^nd, I felt my belly harden with a cramp for the very first time, later that cramp was followed by weak contractions, barely there contractions, which were far apart and inconsistent. I wasn’t sure if they were Braxton Hicks or not, I honestly had no inkling that in a matter of hours things would get interesting.

I woke up feeling super energetic and wanting to bake... Yeah, for some weird reason I wanted to bake something, anything. Top on my craving list were bananas while I was pregnant, I loved bananas soooo much, in a way that I hadn’t pre-pregnancy. That morning I baked banana bread and it came out really great, allow me to brag! Lol! Everyone present at my mom’s house loved it.

Around 12 p.m. in the afternoon, I went to lay down for a bit. I didn’t think it necessary to mention to anybody about the hardening of my stomach, I assumed it was the baby moving around in tight quarters. I wound up napping with no complaints.

At about 3 p.m. I woke up, took a shower, watched some TV, all the while having inconsistent contractions which I doubted were the real thing. I was 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant, but convinced that I would give birth at either 41 weeks or 42 weeks.

I’ll stop right here for today. Please drop by again to read more on what happened as my labor progressed and the lowdown of my birth experience.

Happy new month! December is one of my favorite months by the way, yes, because of Christmas! And yes, because it’s my birth month.

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Motherhood

About To Pop!

By Yvonne Waluvengo - June 12, 2016

In less than 3 weeks I'll give birth to my baby, it's rather hard to believe.

Actually, it was not until I sat down, a couple of months ago, I mean really hunkered down that I reflected on the gravity of every ounce of all that is going on with my life right now.

Knowing that I'm already caring for another person, the baby being literally in me, is wonderful, it's also scary as hell, stressful, intimidating, alienating, humbling and a million trillion other things.

The emotions are indeed overwhelming.

My transition into motherhood was not exactly smooth, I've had my fair share of difficulties, still do, but right along the difficulties I am constantly reminded that although difficult, this process, this transition, is so beautiful and is shaping me into the woman I'm destined to be.

I'm happy that I've grown at peace with my pregnancy, I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything, besides, it has brought me a change that is more profound than any other I've ever experienced. I feel transformed, in a weird sense, it's like I'm still me but I'm not me, me... You get?... Anyway, I guess it's only natural. If you're a mom you'll agree that having a child elicits more changes both gradual and sudden than anything else could provoke.

I'm grateful for having this opportunity to care for the precious gift in my womb. I'm not too religious but I believe when a woman is pregnant she's partaking in one of the most eternal and sacred missions God will ever give her.

I want to thank you for sticking with me, your support means the world to me, I'm not even kidding. Since I last posted, lots of things have happened, as much as I felt bad taking a break from blogging, it was necessary and worth it. I needed time to relax, to face realities, to learn/practice new ways of taking care of myself and my growing baby.

As this month progresses, I wish you peace of soul and mind, love of family and friends and all the good happenings.

Watch out for another post! Hopefully I'll pop it up before my little angel pops out :-)

Love,

xXx

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Motherhood

A New Life!

By Yvonne Waluvengo - March 07, 2016

It's with great joy that I'm able to announce I'm expecting a child, due in June.

(1st ultrasound picture - my baby was exactly 15 weeks and 1 day old, weighing 217 grams)

I believe a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant. In all honesty though it took me quite a while to embrace motherhood, to warmly welcome and simply bond with my unborn baby.

I want to dedicate this post to the little flower growing in the garden of my womb.

Knowing that you live inside me is surreal. Sometimes I feel your movements, usually they're slightly to the left. You started kicking when you were only 16 weeks old, since then I never feel alone or lonely anymore. I long for those kicks and flutters, they put a smile on my face and reassure me that you're still here. I wonder if you're aware of my presence and if it makes you smile too when I rub my belly in response to your movements.

You're 25 weeks along today, it's amazing that in this day and age, with technological advancement, you're considered viable! If you were out of my womb, this very moment, you would survive! Absolutely amazing, right?

You can work out sounds now. Guess what? You're the first person who has ever heard my heartbeat from inside my body, again - AMAZING!

I desperately want you to be familiar with my voice, but I find it really awkward talking to you haha! I've tried severally, I'm sorry, forgive me, I end up feeling like a crazy person when I do. Maybe it's just me, it's difficult to stare down at my bump and speak to it. I think I'll stick to singing nursery rhymes to you and reading bedtime stories I hope to reread to you when you'll be an infant/toddler.

I've noticed you like classical music, Mozart rocks!!! I like classical music too, It's very calming. I'll try to play pieces for you whenever I can.

There's no easy way to explain how much I love you already, know that I love you my baby, this kind of love I have never experienced before. Besides my life, you're the most precious gift God has ever given me. You're my light, you've changed my previous perspective of life, looking at the world now is literally a whole new dimension of sight. I can't thank you enough for the many wonderful things you teach me, I'm eager to learn more, darkness pulls at me daily but you always pull me back to light. My baby, my heart is full of bliss for all the good that will come when you're born.