In less than 3 weeks I'll give birth to my baby, it's rather hard to believe.

Actually, it was not until I sat down, a couple of months ago, I mean really hunkered down that I reflected on the gravity of every ounce of all that is going on with my life right now. 

Knowing that I'm already caring for another person, the baby being literally in me, is wonderful, it's also scary as hell, stressful, intimidating, alienating, humbling and a million trillion other things. 

The emotions are indeed overwhelming. 

My transition into motherhood was not exactly smooth, I've had my fair share of difficulties, still do, but right along the difficulties I am constantly reminded that although difficult, this process, this transition, is so beautiful and is shaping me into the woman I'm destined to be.

I'm happy that I've grown at peace with my pregnancy, I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything, besides, it has brought me a change that is more profound than any other I've ever experienced. I feel transformed, in a weird sense, it's like I'm still me but I'm not me, me... You get?... Anyway, I guess it's only natural. If you're a mom you'll agree that having a child elicits more changes both gradual and sudden than anything else could provoke.

I'm grateful for having this opportunity to care for the precious gift in my womb. I'm not too religious but I believe when a woman is pregnant she's partaking in one of the most eternal and sacred missions God will ever give her. 

I want to thank you for sticking with me, your support means the world to me, I'm not even kidding. Since I last posted, lots of things have happened, as much as I felt bad taking a break from blogging, it was necessary and worth it. I needed time to relax, to face realities, to learn/practice new ways of taking care of myself and my growing baby.

As this month progresses, I wish you peace of soul and mind, love of family and friends and all the good happenings.

Watch out for another post! Hopefully I'll pop it up before my little angel pops out :-)

Love,

xXx

27 days since my last blog post.

Quite an epic blogging fail.

However, I do have a very worthy excuse... I'm pregnant (cue evil laughter)

I'm convinced that you can literally get away with "anything" by simply saying "I'm pregnant"... Aaah! Pregnancy perks :-)

Xx

It's with great joy that I'm able to announce I'm expecting a child, due in June.

(1st ultrasound picture - my baby was exactly 15 weeks and 1 day old, weighing 217 grams)

Knowing that you live inside me is surreal. Sometimes I feel your movements, usually they're slightly to the left. You started kicking when you were only 16 weeks old, since then I never feel alone or lonely anymore. I long for those kicks and flutters, they put a smile on my face and reassure me that you're still here. I wonder if you're aware of my presence and if it makes you smile too when I rub my belly in response to your movements.

You're 25 weeks along today, it's amazing that in this day and age, with technological advancement, you're considered viable! If you were out of my womb, this very moment, you would survive! Absolutely amazing, right?

You can work out sounds now. Guess what? You're the first person who has ever heard my heartbeat from inside my body, again - AMAZING! 

I desperately want you to be familiar with my voice, but I find it really awkward talking to you haha! I've tried severally, I'm sorry, forgive me, I end up feeling like a crazy person when I do. Maybe it's just me, it's difficult to stare down at my bump and speak to it. I think I'll stick to singing nursery rhymes to you and reading bedtime stories I hope to reread to you when you'll be an infant/toddler. 

I've noticed you like classical music, Mozart rocks!!! I like classical music too, It's very calming. I'll try to play pieces for you whenever I can.

There's no easy way to explain how much I love you already, know that I love you my baby, this kind of love I have never experienced before. Besides my life, you're the most precious gift God has ever given me. You're my light, you've changed my previous perspective of life, looking at the world now is literally a whole new dimension of sight. I can't thank you enough for the many wonderful things you teach me, I'm eager to learn more, darkness pulls at me daily but you always pull me back to light. My baby, my heart is full of bliss for all the good that will come when you're born.

Thank you for visiting! I hope that you, your friends and family are faring on well.

Please send love and warm thoughts to my baby.

Xx

I have honestly and truly missed you guys, so much, as well as blogging.

Today I turned 22 years old.

I'm experiencing a whole lot of feelings right now, I'm happy, as I should be of course, but there are other feelings in play - I feel both young and aged haha! Nostalgic, sad... A little indifferent.

Life decided that it's time to represent the double two, can you imagine? It didn't even ask me if I was ready or not... Oh well! I guess I'll just have to get used to it and hopefully, at some point, replying "22" when my age is asked will not feel weird as it leaves my lips. Also, If I'm lucky, maybe I'll get over the strangeness of calling myself a woman when "girl" is just as awkward... Or maybe, I'll find out that there is no "aha! This is it" moment in womanhood... Perhaps it is something that does not hit you until you have lived it for several years.

Goodness! I'm I blabbering? I feel like I am. 

Before I get too carried away with my introspection, I figured it would be great to share with you 22 lessons I have learned by my 22nd year.

1. As much as I always want to be in control and run my life's show as I see fit, I have to constantly remind myself that there is a Director who knows the scenes of my life and His timing is impeccable. Putting God first, allowing Him to lead is the wisest choice.

2. Happiness and inner peace is attracted when you let go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for what it is.

3. You teach people how to treat you.

4. Small changes over time = BIG CHANGE.

5. When it comes to relationships, it's less about finding the right person and more about becoming the right person.

6. Give and expect nothing in return. Best investment!

7. Speak to your family, friends, significant other more kindly than you speak to anyone else. Too often we speak the most harshly to those closest to us.

8. Beauty is not just a physical experience, but a psychological one as well. Wake up in the morning and say to yourself "I'm beautiful, I'm a goddess" before looking in the mirror.

9. Nothing will change in your life if you don't do something different from what you have been doing.

10.  Most people in society need things and only care about what they can get from you. Sad truth.

11. Don't strive for money, top of a career, fame... Luxury. Once you get it, you'll be more miserable. It's not by chance that rarely rich people are happy and many businessmen and successful leaders have turned to frugal life after seeing the emptiness of the rich one.

12. After trials, comes triumphs. Whatever life throws at you, remain strong because better times are coming. 

13. People older than you don’t have it all figured out. They may speak with authority, but they mostly make it up just like you. Most of them are full of s*#t. But we should listen to their advice anyway... There’s a lot of wisdom in that s*#t haha!

14. It doesn't matter whether you need them or not, just treat people right.

15. Time is the most precious possession and the thing you can't get back. Spend time with people and doing things that add value to your life.

16. Be careful with what you put in your mind. If you teach yourself to ignore the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, especially from an earlier age, your life will be so darn good.

17. Focus on your goals and successes. If you pay too much attention on your past failures or regrets, things wont get any better.

18. If you have haters, you are probably doing something/most things right. When you start to improve and have success in different areas, it's perfectly normal for people to envy you, dislike you, criticize you and even wish the worst for you.

19. Internally validate yourself. You are enough, nothing and nobody will ever complete you.

20. Enjoy the process. The challenges and hard times you face will enable you to appreciate a better situation.

21. Don't forget to laugh and smile.

22.  Say ‘yes’ to every request, especially when it’s something easy like seeing a movie, attending a wedding or supporting a friend. Your friends will appreciate you, your life experience will increase, and your comfort zone will continue to expand.

Which of the lessons can you most relate to? Also, Please share any valuble lesson (s) you have learned this year.

Xx